16 Blogs for 16 Days - DVRCV Blogathon image

16Days Blogathon Day 15 – Busting the myths

By jen on December 9, 2011 in '16 Days' Blogathon, Blog

It’s Day 15 of 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence! As part of the UNiTE global campaign to end violence against women and girls, we’ve committed to blogging daily to highlight violence-ending initiatives here at DVRCV, locally and around the world, until International Human Rights Day on December 10.

Working towards ending gender-based violence is no small task, and there are many obstacles to be faced on a daily basis. This includes combatting the many myths surrounding violence against women, which serve to deflect blame from perpetrators, shame victims, downplay the seriousness of gender violence, or deny that there’s a problem at all.

You may have heard statements like this before:

‘Women are at least as violent as men’

‘She shouldn’t have provoked him/worn that/spoken back/’asked for it”

‘Just get over it – some people have real problems’

These attitudes are depressingly common, and are tools used to shut down debate, intimidate and control women and allies when they talk about violence.

Here are some common myths around family violence, and some facts to help counter these myths should you come across them:

Myth: Women and children often lie about family violence

Fact: Family violence is actually underreported and underrecognised

Victims of family violence are far less likely to disclose, report, seek support or even name what’s happening to them as violence than victims of other kinds of violence. ^[1]

The World Health Organization has found that this is due to a number of factors, including:

Fear of reprisal
Shame and secrecy surrounding family violence
Women’s ongoing economic or social dependence on their abuser
Trivialisation of intimate partner violence, and
Women’s belief or fear that they won’t be taken seriously ^[2]

Because of the shame often experienced by victims of family violence, many women and children suffering from abuse do not or cannot report to the police – or even to their friends and family.

Myth: Women commit family violence just as much or more than men

Fact: Men are the most likely perpetrators of family violence

Evidence indicates that women are overwhelmingly more likely to be victims of family violence than men, and that men are overwhelmingly more likely to be perpetrators of family violence than women. ^[3]

As well as women suffering many more incidences of family violence than men, most studies also agree that family violence against women perpetrated by men is much more severe, leading to many more deaths and serious injuries.

A Statistics Canada report found that women are three times more likely than men to be injured as a result of relationship violence, as well as five times more likely to report fearing for their lives. ^[4]

It’s important to distinguish between stastics relating to violence in general, and those just referring to family violence. While statistically, men are more likely to be victims of general physical violence than women, it is also true that the vast majority of perpetrators of violence in Australia – against both men and women – are men (between 81-89 percent).

In most cases, physical violence against men is perpetrated by strangers (66 per cent), while violence inflicted upon women is more likely to be perpetrated by a current or former partner, family member or friend (68 per cent). ^[5]

Myth: Family violence doesn’t affect anyone I know

Fact: Family violence affects at least 1 in 5 women in Australia today^[6]

It is all too likely that someone in your life has or is suffering from family violence.

According to the VicHealth 2003 study into violence against women:

Intimate partner violence is all too common, has severe and persistent effects on women’s physical and mental health and… is responsible for more ill-health and premature death in Victorian women under the age of 45 than any other of the well-known risk factors, including high blood pressure, obesity and smoking.^[7]

More recent studies indicate that this number is growing, with almost a third of workers reporting being affected by family violence. Aboriginal women are again still far more likely to have experienced violence and abuse ^[8] .

As we said in our recent post on ‘Supporting Survivors’:

The odds are that at least one woman or girl that you know — your mother, your sister, wife, colleague, friend or acquaintance — has or is dealing with experiences of violence directed at her because of her gender. And, should the time come when she calls upon you to help her, or simply listen to her experience, it’s vital that you take the time to validate her experience and not minimise or excuse the violence that has been inflicted on her.

Myth: She must have done something to provoke him

Fact: No one ever deserves to be a victim of abuse

Even within a society that criminalises acts of violence, we are surrounded by messages that reinforce the myth that survivors of violence – particularly of sexual assault or intimate partner violence – somehow ‘asked for it’. This is often demonstrated in high-profile cases of abuse (such as with Rihanna and Chris Brown, and Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva), where many news stories are accompanied by comments that excuse or minimise the abuser’s behaviour.

Many people internalise the message that a victim somehow ‘deserved’ violence if she provoked her attacker – by wearing ‘provocative’ clothing, by teasing or taunting him, by ‘cheating’ or leaving him for somebody else.

There are many, many problems with this myth. One is that survivors also often internalise this message, which can make it even harder for her to tell friends and family about the abuse and/or leave the abuser. Another problem is that, by following this logic – she did this, so he did that – the perpetrator of violence is allowed to justify his actions, and thereby is given an opportunity to continue the abuse.

At times, we all experience stress, trauma, anger and fear. An abusive person may use these things as excuses for their behaviour, but really they behave this way to try to control what their victims do.

The truth is that no one, ever, deserves abuse.

These are just a few of the many harmful myths around family violence and violence against women.

To find out more, here are some more resources on myths and facts about family violence that may be useful:

You can help show your support by continuing to read the blog during the Blogathon, sharing our campaign with your friends, posting comments (and your suggestions!) here and on our Facebook Page, and keeping in touch with us on Twitter.