Abuse and family violence don’t always come in the form of physical threats or violence. Online behavior by a partner, family member or someone else can also be abusive if it makes you feel scared or unsafe.
Abusive online behaviour can include:
- Checking your email or tracking your internet use
- Impersonating you or spreading rumours about you
- Posting embarrassing, fake or intimate videos, photos or comments about you
- Constantly messaging, emailing or texting you in a way that makes you feel intimidated or scared, or
- Harassing you on social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter, MySpace or dating/chat/games sites.
If anyone – including a family member, boy/girlfriend or partner – is doing this to you, remember: you don’t have to put up with it.
What to do
- Protect your privacy online
- Make a Technology Safety Plan
- It’s a good idea to report it to the police
What is cyber-harassment?
Cyber-harassment, or cyber-bullying, can include things like:
- Checking your email without permission
- Impersonating you or hacking into your online accounts
- Spreading rumours about you, or
- Sharing photos or videos of you without your consent.
C yber-harassment is not just about being teased – it’s repeated behaviour that is designed to humiliate, control or scare the person being targeted. It’s not legal, and it’s not OK.
Deal with different types of cyber-harassment (Facebook, Myspace, email) on our website Love: the good, the bad, the ugly.
What is cyber-stalking?
If someone keeps contacting you on Facebook or any kind of online site and it’s making you scared and upset, it sounds like you’re being stalked.
Stalking is illegal. The person could get dangerous.
Stalking includes following someone around or leaving messages on their phone or online, and deliberately trying to make them feel scared.
You should contact the police and get their advice. Save any messages or emails to show the police if necessary.
Stalking can also involve threats or sexual comments. The stalker often tries make the person they’re stalking feel intimidated and scared.
Stalking a girlfriend, boyfriend or ex, or someone else, is against the law in Victoria. Stalking someone online is also against the law.
NSW Police have advice on how to record stalking incidents and more about stalking.
Why would someone do this to me?
Just like ‘real-life’ stalking and harassment, cyber-stalking and cyber-bullying are often symptoms of someone’s need to control another person’s life.
A stalker is often possessive of their girlfriend/boyfriend or ex, and thinks,
You’re mine – you do as I say and don’t you dare leave me!
They don’t care about their boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s right to freedom, privacy and independence.
They often want to have power over their BF/GF or ex or want to punish them for breaking up.
They might like the power of making their partner feel like they’re being watched.
Remember that behaviour which makes you feel scared, unsafe or uncomfortable is never OK – even if the person says that they love you or that they’re ‘doing it because they love you’.
Related Links
- Cyber-safety info for kids, teens and parents: Australian Communications and Media Authority
- How to deal with online bullying or harassment: Love: the good, the bad and the ugly
- How to report a crime: Victims of Crime (VIC Department of Justice)
- ‘Is jealousy a sign of love?’: Love: the good, the bad and the ugly
- Protecting your privacy online: Love: the good, the bad and the ugly
- Technology Safety Planning: Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria
- Tips on safe internet use: Women’s Health in the West
- What is stalking?: NSW Police
Image credit
Photo from Flickr by Federico Morando 
I am going through stalking and bulling from my wife and her friends. All she does is lie lie lie, and ploice wont do anything about, who is the victim hear?????? I got a family violence against her and she breached it within 2 hrs i got another one and she breached that one too, where do i go from here???? i FEAR for the safety of my 2 boys.
Hi there and thank you for your message. It sounds like what you’re going through is terribly exhausting, frustrating and I imagine at times, quite frightening. If your wife is breaching the intervention order, I would suggest letting the police know and insisting they charge her with breaches of the order. You can request to speak to the Family Violence Liason Officer at the closest 24 hour police station.
Alternatively, you can keep a journal of all the contacts from your wife and her friends. In the journal, note in as much detail as you can, the time and date of the breach and a description of what happened. Keep this journal somewhere safe. It can be used as evidence in court, should you need to return. You can also talk to your kids about safety, violence and their rights. Depending on their age, they may find this website helpful: http://www.burstingthebubble.com thanks again for your email. We do hope this situation turns around and that you and your boys are safe. — Remember, call 000 in an emergency.
I am being cyber harrassed by someone from the UK after I dropped them after 7 years of lies and nonsense on the internet…yes I admit I left it too long, only as we had a mutual friend I had at times thought this person was ok but I was wrong.
This person continuously attempted sexual intimidation with me online before and recently I obtained a transcript when I caught them out on Messenger again with myself as the target. This person keeps emailing and saying they will leave me alone ONLY after I tell them what they have done wrong.
Denial of a bully if you ask me
I have been told by the police do not reply and do not feed into his game. And keep all copies of emails etc. Always let the police know. The police have told me if it gets worse to call back.
Which I would not hesitate to get rid of this bully.
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