How do other people survive domestic violence? What helped them? What advice do they have for others?
True stories
These stories are all true. All names and details have been changed. People have told their stories in the hope that they will help others who are being abused.
Most of these stories are from women in heterosexual relationships, but some are from women in lesbian relationships, and some are from men in heterosexual relationships.
There are stories from women with disabilities and from young people under 25.
Stories from women who have experienced abusive relationships
Jane: My journey to hell and back began twelve years ago.
Katherine: When his violence became much worse and was being directed at the children, I changed.
Jody: I know what it’s like to be disregarded and disrespected by the legal system.
Anna: It took me a lot of false starts, but eventually I stepped out of an abusive relationship.
Maria: It’s quite a terrible thing to admit that you have been in two abusive relationships.
Alex: I believed he wanted to change. We even went to counselling together.
Jenna: We had our good times but once we were married, his desire to control everything became more obvious.
Kaz: I began to believe that it was my fault and felt like I was in this rollercoaster that I couldn’t get off.
D: I look in the eyes of my baby girl and know that she watched every bit. It helped to be able to see the truth.
Ann: I told him to stop but he wouldn’t, and I pushed him away but he pushed me back.
Julie: After we broke up, he started to stalk me.
Sallie: Falling in love doesn’t mean the guy is right for you.
L : Now I stand up to him when he gives orders.
Kazza: Then over time, sex became more important to him than being together.
Angel: He pushed me into prostitution.
Lena: I married an abusive man who had a severe drinking problem.
Tina: It got to a stage where I didn’t know what the truth was and what was a lie.
Stories about abuse in lesbian relationships
Dannielle: I didn’t want to believe that the woman whom I adored could be f***ing with me.
Rebecca: I was left feeling I had to walk on eggshells.
Michelle: There was never any physical abuse, but the emotional abuse was constant.Jade: Slowly, before I could even realize what was going on, it went bad.
Ayet: Everything I did had to be revolving around her.
Stories about abuse from women with disabilities
Molly: My husband has never accepted our son has a disability. I have an intellectual disability and my husband doesn’t accept that either, because he can’t see it.
Mary: If I fall from my wheelchair he doesn’t tell my carers or take me to the doctor or hospital.
Rose Lillian: The sexual abuse by my brother had long-reaching effects.
Anj: Through sheer determination and willpower I’m where I am today, gradually reclaiming my life.
Katerina: My father never gave me reasons for his abuse other than it was all my fault.
Stories about abuse from men
David: She took every opportunity to belittle me. When in a temper, she often hit me.
Cyrus: My pride was deeply shaken.
Stories about abuse from young people
Andrea: I felt like I was walking on eggshells around him because literally anything I said or did could upset him.
Ann: When I tried to leave him, he told me that he had a gun and was going to commit suicide.
Isabella: My parents are Italian and are quite religious, they don’t believe in sex before marriage. I didn’t really want to do it, it was my first time and I was really stressed out about it. He’d say ‘I don’t think you really love me, because you don’t want to have sex with me.
Amy: I went and stayed with my family and they helped me and are still helping me through it all. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my entire life.
Samantha: My friend had an abusive boyfriend. She and I had been friends for four years so I could tell when something was bothering her.
Jacq: That day I called my mum and then I left him, I was so ashamed. My reason for not telling before was so that no one would be angry with him.
