The safety plan

Think up a Safety Plan

Take your safety seriously. If you feel unsafe or threatened by him, think of ideas to help protect yourself.

If you are still with him:

You might not feel able to break up with your boyfriend at the moment. But there are still things you could do to help you to feel safer in the relationship.

• Tell friends or family and get them to help protect you by being around when he is there.
• Try not to be alone with him.
• Think of ways to stay in control of the situation. For example, if you are out, arrange another way of getting home rather than going with him, or try not to drink too much or use other drugs. Take extra money in case you need to call a taxi or use the telephone.
• Have an excuse prepared so you can leave quickly if you feel uncomfortable or scared.
• Have a code word or signal that you can use to get friends to help you.
• If you go to school / Uni / work with him, you could talk to a teacher or a workmate you trust to help protect you.
• Memorise or write down the number of the police so you can call them if you are in danger (In Australia phone 000 for police in an emergency)
• If you want to break up with him but are scared about his reaction, you could consider telling him over the phone, rather than in person. Or you could tell him when there are other people around.

After you have broken up with him:

You might still have to have contact with your ex-boyfriend, especially if you are at the same school, workplace or have mutual friends. He might still try to contact you after you have split up. You could try the suggestions above, and also think about these ideas.

• Have an answering machine or someone else take messages from him.
• Arrange a safe place to stay where he can't contact you .
• Talk to someone about what you could do legally to protect yourself from any more violence. Check out the Legal info and Services section.

You can write your safety plan ideas out in the Thinking Sheet.

Have a read of Isabella's story about how she got free from an abusive relationship, how she protected herself, and her advice to someone who was being abused.