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Having a good relationship
doesn't mean you have to have sex. But whatever you do, whether
it's kissing, touching or having sex, it should always be something
that you both want to do.
Sex is meant to
be:
- something
you decide to do when you're ready to
- something
that makes you both feel good
- something
you can interrupt or stop at any time
- safe (because
you're both prepared with condoms to protect you from sexually
transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancy)
Sex isn't meant
to be:
- the only
way to prove that you love someone
- something
you feel pressured or forced into
- something
you do because 'everyone else is doing it'
- something
that makes you feel used.
Remember,
if you've been kissing or touching but don't want to go any further,
that's ok. Kissing is not a contract.
Trust and communication
The most important
thing in a sexual relationship is that you trust the other
person and you feel like you can communicate with them.
If you are
considering a sexual relationship, or if you are in a sexual relationship,
ask yourself:
- How much
do I trust this person to respect what I do and don't want to
do?
- How comfortable
would I feel talking with them about safe sex and contraception?
- How comfortable
would I feel saying no to them?
Someone who
loves you should respect your right to decide if and when to have
sex.
If you don't
feel ready to have sex, you could say "I really like you
but I don't feel ready to have sex yet".
Sex and Pressure
"I
kept on pushing his hands away but he just put them back there,
then I just froze, I couldn't say anything, it was horrible".
What if someone
has touched you or made you touch them in a sexual way, and you
felt like you had no choice?
You might
have
- felt scared
to say no
- felt pressured
into having sex, because they made you think that if you didn't,
they'd break up with you, or they wouldn't like you
- been asleep
or drunk and didn't really know what was going on
- been forced
into sexual contact
No-one should
force you into any type of sexual contact. In fact, this is sexual
assault, and it is a crime that can be reported to the police.
Remember,
they have done the wrong thing, not you. It can help to talk to
someone about it. See services that can
help
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