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D's story

D's story

D's story

To everyone out there with big hearts, big dreams, and big “helper-syndromes”:

Just like I am, always looking for the half full glass instead of the half empty, we have to see that sometimes empty just means nothing but empty. My daughter, my beautiful sunshine needs me. If it isn’t for me, I have to give her life security and joy. I may not be strong for myself, but I know I can be for her. Never in life do I want her to step into my pattern of “accepting, loving, no matter what “, I would hate myself forever. This time I made a step, and called the police, a “first time ever”, a great big step. And next time, I promise you, my baby, I will go, with you in my arms.

How I coped

To look in the eyes of my baby girl and know that she watched every bit. It helped to be able to see the truth.


How the situation changed

I called the cops, the first time ever. I called a abuse hotline, and set an appointment for counselling, also the first time ever. Before I was nothing but a “please love me, it’s all my fault, If I just change….” But to know that my daughter was sick all night after he choked me in front of her – this gave me one step into the right way. I am not there yet, but at least I am on my way. And I will reach peace soon, as long I continue to look in my daughter’s sad eyes.


What has helped me

My baby girl. I want her to be strong with the knowledge that this world can be a great place, not a hide out, a cave with tears all around.


What I would say to others

Hey “sisters”, we are made strong. We give birth, clean up behind everybody, work in a job, and at home. And we let in the “words of love”, the person we “trusted” most, “loved most”, treat us like a dog. We answer ‘Yes, I will change, I will try harder, I will be sooooo good”.

Who was bad? You? Did you hit yourself, did you choke yourself? Did you verbally abuse yourself day in day out, just thinking: ‘At least, he isn’t hitting me?’

No, we HAVE TO STAND UP for OURSELVES, and even more, for our kids, and live free.


Related links

  • If you are in danger call 000 or contact the police in your state or territory.
  • For confidential crisis support in Victoria, information and accommodation please call the safe steps 24/7 family violence response line on 1800 015 188. If it is unsafe to call, email
  • For confidential phone help and referral in Australia, please contact 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732, the National Sexual Assault, Family and Domestic Violence Counselling Line.
  • For free information, support, and referrals for all lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans and gender diverse, intersex, asexual and queer Victorians and their friends and family call Rainbow Door on 1800 729 367 or text 0480 017 246 or email
  • For support for men, call Men's Referral Service on 1300 766 491.