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Kaz's story

Kaz's story

Kaz's story

I really fell for this guy. He was wonderful for the first 3 months, but then he changed and became very controlling.

He didn’t allow me to talk with friends freely, and would throw and break things if I did.

He told me I was a bitch, he spat on me and hit me.

On one occassion I was bedridden for 2 days from this and made excuses to people about how I was injured. He pulled a knife and stabbed my bedding, threatened me with objects, drove the car at high speeds with me in it – and always, always it was my fault.

I began to believe that it was my fault and felt like I was in this rollercoaster that I couldn’t get off. I spent every day crying until finally enough was enough and I left. Still he came and begged me to give him another go and I did, but it wasn’t my choice to be in the relationship.

We didn’t live together again and I started to go out with my friends more and more.

I found that I really was so much happier and better without this person in my life.


How I coped

I really don’t know, I think I was only just functioning really. Getting up each day going to work, hoping that this person would treat me better this day – but it never happened.


How the situation changed

Finally after continual phone calls and harrassment from him I got a restraining order.


What helped me

My friends and family helped me a lot, telling me I didn’t need this jerk in my life that I was a better person than him and I deserved someone better, someone who respects me and allows me to be me. Also being the mother of grown children who loved me and just wanted to see me happy – I wanted to be there for them.


What I would say to others

Get out before it is too late. I don’t know what would have happened if I stayed, I think about that and just feel very lucky that I started to believe in myself again and managed to get out of the web. It was my personal nightmare – one that I will never be in again.


Related links

  • If you are in danger call 000 or contact the police in your state or territory.
  • For confidential crisis support in Victoria, information and accommodation please call the safe steps 24/7 family violence response line on 1800 015 188. If it is unsafe to call, email
  • For confidential phone help and referral in Australia, please contact 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732, the National Sexual Assault, Family and Domestic Violence Counselling Line.
  • For free information, support, and referrals for all lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans and gender diverse, intersex, asexual and queer Victorians and their friends and family call Rainbow Door on 1800 729 367 or text 0480 017 246 or email
  • For support for men, call Men's Referral Service on 1300 766 491.