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Kaz's story

Kaz's story

Kaz's story

I really fell for this guy. He was wonderful for the first 3 months, but then he changed and became very controlling.

He didn’t allow me to talk with friends freely, and would throw and break things if I did.

He told me I was a bitch, he spat on me and hit me.

On one occassion I was bedridden for 2 days from this and made excuses to people about how I was injured. He pulled a knife and stabbed my bedding, threatened me with objects, drove the car at high speeds with me in it – and always, always it was my fault.

I began to believe that it was my fault and felt like I was in this rollercoaster that I couldn’t get off. I spent every day crying until finally enough was enough and I left. Still he came and begged me to give him another go and I did, but it wasn’t my choice to be in the relationship.

We didn’t live together again and I started to go out with my friends more and more.

I found that I really was so much happier and better without this person in my life.


How I coped

I really don’t know, I think I was only just functioning really. Getting up each day going to work, hoping that this person would treat me better this day – but it never happened.


How the situation changed

Finally after continual phone calls and harrassment from him I got a restraining order.


What helped me

My friends and family helped me a lot, telling me I didn’t need this jerk in my life that I was a better person than him and I deserved someone better, someone who respects me and allows me to be me. Also being the mother of grown children who loved me and just wanted to see me happy – I wanted to be there for them.


What I would say to others

Get out before it is too late. I don’t know what would have happened if I stayed, I think about that and just feel very lucky that I started to believe in myself again and managed to get out of the web. It was my personal nightmare – one that I will never be in again.


Related links

  • If you are in danger call 000 or contact the police in your state or territory.
  • For confidential crisis support in Victoria, information and accommodation please call the safe steps 24/7 family violence response line on 1800 015 188. If it is unsafe to call, email
  • For confidential phone help and referral in Australia, please contact 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732, the National Sexual Assault, Family and Domestic Violence Counselling Line.
  • For a specialist LGBTIQ family violence service in Victoria, please contact W|Respect on 1800 LGBTIQ (1800 542 847) or visit
  • For support for men, call Men's Referral Service on 1300 766 491.