I really fell for this guy. He was wonderful for the first 3 months, but then he changed and became very controlling.
He didn’t allow me to talk with friends freely, and would throw and break things if I did.
He told me I was a bitch, he spat on me and hit me.
On one occassion I was bedridden for 2 days from this and made excuses to people about how I was injured. He pulled a knife and stabbed my bedding, threatened me with objects, drove the car at high speeds with me in it – and always, always it was my fault.
I began to believe that it was my fault and felt like I was in this rollercoaster that I couldn’t get off. I spent every day crying until finally enough was enough and I left. Still he came and begged me to give him another go and I did, but it wasn’t my choice to be in the relationship.
We didn’t live together again and I started to go out with my friends more and more.
I found that I really was so much happier and better without this person in my life.
How I coped
I really don’t know, I think I was only just functioning really. Getting up each day going to work, hoping that this person would treat me better this day – but it never happened.
How the situation changed
Finally after continual phone calls and harrassment from him I got a restraining order.
What helped me
My friends and family helped me a lot, telling me I didn’t need this jerk in my life that I was a better person than him and I deserved someone better, someone who respects me and allows me to be me. Also being the mother of grown children who loved me and just wanted to see me happy – I wanted to be there for them.
What I would say to others
Get out before it is too late. I don’t know what would have happened if I stayed, I think about that and just feel very lucky that I started to believe in myself again and managed to get out of the web. It was my personal nightmare – one that I will never be in again.