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Lena's story

Lena's story

Lena's story

I married an abusive man who had a severe drinking problem. He would take days off of work and drink terribly.

When he would drink he would become particularly abusive.

I became pregnant and it didn’t stop him. He would still knock me down, shake me, and push me into walls. I put up with it because I loved him.

He never remembered the things he would do so I would blame the alcohol instead of him.

Our relationship became so bad that I would miss a lot of work and my employer was getting fed up with me.


How I coped

I started to take pictures of the damage he would do to me and the home. I kept a detailed record day to day. One day he passed out with a glass of beer while holding my baby. Even though I had low self esteem, I was strong when it came to my child. He left the home, I notified the police that he was drunk driving and he went to jail. I moved out while he was in jail and I am staying with my family right now.


How the situation changed

My husband has now filed for divorce, but not until I went to the court to get a no contact order. He may no longer come near me or he goes to jail. As much as I love him when he’s sober, I need this no contact because he is abusive when drunk and if he could come near me I’m sure he could melt his way back into my heart and do it all over again.


What helped me to get stronger

My baby made me become stronger. I put up with a lot of abuse, but he only had to fail as a parent once for me to take my baby and flee for safety.


What I would say to someone who is being abused

DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT! Keep everything at work or a friend’s home. Take pictures, keep articles of clothing with blood, keep the broken items, make copies of keys, take all important paperwork and family momentos. It’s easy to say “GET OUT”, but I know what it feels like wanting to give a fifth, sixth, and seventh chance.

Someday you will have strength, someday you will leave – you deserve to be happy, you deserve to be loved. Someday you will find the strength and you will have the evidence you will need to keep him away from you for good.


Related links

  • If you are in danger call 000 or contact the police in your state or territory.
  • For confidential crisis support in Victoria, information and accommodation please call the safe steps 24/7 family violence response line on 1800 015 188. If it is unsafe to call, email
  • For confidential phone help and referral in Australia, please contact 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732, the National Sexual Assault, Family and Domestic Violence Counselling Line.
  • For free information, support, and referrals for all lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans and gender diverse, intersex, asexual and queer Victorians and their friends and family call Rainbow Door on 1800 729 367 or text 0480 017 246 or email
  • For support for men, call Men's Referral Service on 1300 766 491.